You can’t learn how to write without first learning how to read. I think that’s the problem with today’s illiterate generation; nobody reads anymore! It’s way too fucking hard to understand anything written by the majority of the internet population. This global epidemic worsens each day. Idiots of the world are embracing each other typing away in their piss-poor “chat slang.” Chat slang? More like dipshit slang. Seriously, since when did reading a piece of writing with proper grammar and punctuation become such a luxury?

Every time I get an email, check MySpace, or read a forum I come across blocks of text that seem to be written by a dyslexic five-year-old on crack. When I say five-year-old—I’m being generous. They might as well be written by a chimp with a popsicle up his ass. Honestly, I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.

I don’t care how intelligent you are, if you spell “you” with just a ‘u’ you’re an idiot to me. You forgot two characters, jackass. Perhaps you left them back at school along with your diploma. If that isn’t bad enough, some random shitjob will write EVERY WORD in “chat slang.” Example:

“lyk i cant w8 2 c u! were r u goin 2 b so i can cum ovr an spend tyme wiv u?

Seriously, what the fuck is that? At least they spelled one word properly. That’s more than I can say for most people. I just don’t get this style of writing. WHY DO PEOPLE DO IT? WHY? WHAT IS THE PURPOSE BEHIND IT? It makes you sound like an uneducated burden of society! I won’t even communicate, or should I say try to communicate with a person who is typing to me this way because all I want to do is punch them through their monitor. Why should I go through the trouble of trying to decipher what he or she is trying to say? Why can’t one just type correctly and be understood? IT MAKES NO SENSE!

I also can’t stand how most people do not understand the difference between “your” and “you’re.” Granted, I hardly see either of these words because they’re often replaced with “ur” or “u’re” (usually thrown in by the smartest dumb kid). Your intelligence is definitely lacking and you’re an idiot if you don’t know the difference. Also, there are no numerical numbers in the English alphabet. The English alphabet consists of 26 letters; five vowels, twenty-one consonants, ZERO numbers. Therefore, when you replace your O’s with 0’s and your I’s with 1’s you make yourself look like…yep, you guessed it—an idiot.

I would go on, but I don’t want to give myself an aneurysm.